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6 Seriously Critical DnD Dice Roller Apps to Excite Your Gaming Mojo Till You Burst & Baby Spiders Squirt From Your Brain, Coated In Cerebrospinal Fluid

Features *enhanced content* packed with IRL Gaming Scenarios

DnD Dice Roller Apps rock the planet.

Cranked up to max power on your phone or tab, these dinky looking gaming aids add value to any hardcore rpg sesh thanks to their intuitive interfaces, range of exciting features, and unashamedly geek-friendly allure.

So when your favourite polyhedrals are devoured by a monster gelatious cube prior to a late nite dungeon marathon with your gaming buddies, your DnD dice roller app stands ready to rescue the day.

But which dice roller should you choose? And why?

Do you seek a range of dice combinations to reflect the sophisticated nature of your attack and defence strategies?

Or would you prefer straight-down-the-line ease of use? No-nonsense dice rolling, just like the real thing?

Or maybe you’re a DM who likes to show off — yeah, one of those narcissistic types that regularly “entertains” their players with detailed explanations of the latest geeky tech or way out wacky conspiracy theories — in which case you might want to look in on DnD dice roller apps with a thousand and one totally impractical niche features no one would ever want to use.

Whatever your reason for seeking Virtual Polyhedral Nirvana (or ‘VPN’ for short), MMO Dwarf is here to dig out the dice roller app that’s perfect for YOU.

So here’s 6 Seriously Critical DnD Dice Roller apps, reviewed for your gaming pleasure (complete with IRL gaming scenarios & examples) — and rated according to my patented Beard Gunge Index

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Seriously Critical DnD Dice Roller Apps — #1 of 6

Dice 2 Go

“You round the corner of the sewer tunnel to discover a lone kobold clad in a desperately unfashionable rat-skin thong. He’s clearly embarrassed and races toward you, swinging a rat by its tail.”

So let’s see how the kobold fares when the one tooth remaining in the rat’s sorry skull connects with the mithril shin guards your lead fighter won on Ebay …

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Beard Gunge Index Rating

DM's Notes say Roll d2*

Dice 2 Go handles this roll easily. It even has a d2 flipper dice known back in the day as a coin. Visuals are full 3D, lending authenticity to the dice and backgrounds, and sound adds to the realism. This is not a bad app when it comes to making simple rolls, and you can add complexity with presets. A cool feature here is the great range of icons you can use to define your presets. Add names like HACK or SLAY, and these icons identify all your key rolls for instant access when it’s time to bash those subterranean evildoers. Factor in modifiers, discard specified rolls, and play like you were dinkiness incarnate. This one is handy for players who know all their key rolls — but not so good for making a variety of rolls in quick succession. Best for players, not so hot for DMs.

As for that Kobold, it rolls a feeble one hit point of damage with that equally feeble tooth — just enough to break the leather strap on your lead fighter’s mithril shin guard. Emboldened by the scent of easy victory, your totally useless elven mage steps forward to gloat strategically — but her pointy-toed boot catches the edge of the shin guard and flips it into the air like a cool SoCal skateboarder pulling a stunt. Your one hit point cleric winces as the shin guard flies into her face before rendering her unconscious. With no cures to hand, you’d better fix that dentally-challenged kobold real good before it decimates the whole party …

* The dice you see in the illustrations may not necessarily match the rolls quoted in the game scenarios. That’s because MMO Dwarf ain’t no fancy, pernickety elf — so quit complaining.

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A Note About MMO Dwarf’s Patented Beard Gunge Index

Stay Smart. Stay Informed. Stay Indisputably Unstupid.

My wizard friends tell me this is effectively “no more than a glorified star ratings system, only in your case, any hope of glory has been substituted with base dwarven foulness” — but what else would you expect from ungrateful wizards? And, come to think of it, why would you class them as friends anyway?

Their tone is very different when they’re down to no spells on the zillionth level of a nightmare dungeon, I can tell you. All I hear then is, “pweez, pweez, pweez, Mr Dwarf Warrior Legend Sir, pweez stop the frankly rather huge bad guys from flaying my ass.”

That said, if you want a truly effective STAR RATINGS SYSTEM to help you gauge the value of ANYTHING (especially MMORPG & DnD Gaming Stuff), then you’ve GOT ONE.

Here’s how it works …

Beard Gunge Index Rating

You get top marks for zero in my system — which makes it as effective and easy to understand as THACO.

Zero means … zero gunge collected in beard, which leaves any stout and true dwarf free of breakfast, dinner or supper dangling from their facial hirsuteness — and ready to SLAY, KISS, or LOOK MISERABLE TO THEIR VERY BEST.

So … anything my BEARD GUNGE INDEX rates as 0 is Best In Class.

One means maybe a dribble of turnip soup has made its way down a few key whiskers. It’s not going to impinge on any hardcore slaying action deep below ground, but if Grandma Dwarf comes a-knocking, she’ll give you a thumping for showing disrespect.

Anything my BEARD GUNGE INDEX rates as 1 is Not Half Bad.

(Elves will no doubt object to this rating on the grounds that it already represents for them the VERY WORST FACIAL CLEANLINESS SCENARIO EVER. But what do they know about being stout and hardy and true, the losers?)

Beard Gunge Index Rating

Beard Gunge Index Rating

OK, turns out some of that turnip soup gave you acid reflux and you’ve regurgitated more than a few spoonfuls onto your beard, along with half a banana you ate the day before at Dwarven Gym Class. Plus, a giant seagull has shit on your face.

Anything my BEARD GUNGE INDEX rates as 2 is So-So.

More giant seagulls arrive on the scene, all of whom diet exclusively on rotting fish. Plus, you ate an undercooked wild boar marinaded in equally undercooked cauliflower & sprout sauce, and the whole lot has just gone WHOOOOOMF all down your front till even your boots are 100% splattered. It’s not the best day for the Poopcrack Orcs to show up with their new secret weapon — but they do — so let’s factor in the worst kind of beard gunge scenario ever when the foul fiends open fire with their OGRE DIARRHOEA BLASTER CANNON from a range of two inches.

I don’t want to sound like an icon of misery and objection here, but sadly anything my BEARD GUNGE INDEX rates as 3 is Probably Best Avoided.

Beard Gunge Index Rating

Aaand so … back to the dice roller app reviews ….

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Seriously Critical DnD Dice Roller Apps — #2 of 6

DnDice

“Deep inside the tomb, you uncover a secret burial chamber where orcs and skeletons battle to assume the role of Interesting Entry Level Monster For Noobs — only there are none of the foul creatures around today because A COLOSSAL ANCIENT RED DRAGON has taken up residence. And she’s AWAKE.”

So let’s see how many milliseconds it will be before THE ENTIRE PARTY pees its pants …

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Beard Gunge Index Rating

DM's Notes say Roll d6

DnDice is a geek’s ultimate techy wet dream. This fully featured dice app can do everything, including maybe even calculate the Oxygen:Methane ratio in the atmosphere of Death Stars plucked at random from the Cosmos. You can customise the whole shebang — from dice style to backgrounds, complex rolls to presets — and mix any dice types you like (including a d7 FFS). The dice move around like the genuine article, and the app is packed with juicy tricks and features … BUT it’s not so easy to make quick and varied rolls on the fly. If you’re a player with a limited range of options, this app covers all bases in style.

Rolling a d6 for this sample encounter is pretty straightforward, especially if it’s a preset roll. If not, you simply key in the die and watch it roll — and the visuals really are worth watching. All the dice roll realistically, collide, and cast shadows. And in this scenario, a roll of 1 means the party pees its collective pants almost instantaneously. “Great,” bellows the dragon, and licks her lips, “a generous garnish of warm urine is far preferable to mayonnaise or chili sauce!”

Just for the record, MMO Dwarf is not affiliated to any of the app developers you see represented in this ludicrously informative article. This is dwarven genorosity, pure and simple.

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A Note About MMO Dwarf’s Affiliate Marketing Links

This page contains a number of Affiliate Marketing Offers. These are the pretty looking ads you see interspersed throughout this insightful & entertaining article. Please note that said attractive banners constitute affiliate marketing links which means that MMO Dwarf may receive a small commission for alerting you to the cool offers on display in the event that you should take them up and run with them. It’s the best way I know to keep the Aethelwaft Turnip Fields free of marauding bugs because unless I can buy in decent repellent sprays I’m forced to run around clobbering the dratted creatures. If you need more details about how MMO Dwarf’s affiliate marketing arrangements work, go HERE. Otherwise, read on …

Seriously Critical DnD Dice Roller Apps — #3 of 6

Dice

“The Innkeeper eyes you with glee. ‘Back in the day, entry to the deadly underground lair beneath my cellar was accessible only to those wise enough to solve my fiendish riddles, but years of brewing undrinkable ale has addled my brain and I no longer trust myself to speak coherently, let alone devise fiendish conundrums for foolhardy adventurers. All I ask is that your trustiest volunteer remain standing after drinking nine pints of my strongest brew — the legendary Old Throbber’s Pig Knackerer Porter.’”

So let’s see if your party’s superintelligent mage can pass the test. It was his out-of-date Dungeon Tour Guide that mentioned the riddle, and it was he who screamed, “I must be the one to accept this brain-teasing challenge because, frankly, the rest of you are such imbeciles,” — so he’s the patsy …

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Beard Gunge Index Rating

DM's Notes say Roll d8+2

Dice is a clean and simple virtual dice roller with plenty going for it. Where other apps let you customise dice and background colours, Dice runs with a range of presets. For the dice this means a broad collection of themes, pulling in Star Wars, Cthulhu, Magic the Gathering — and more. These are some of the neatest looking dice in the review, and adding them to the virtual gaming table is simplicity itself. Add or delete dice as you need them, create presets, howl with delight when your mighty battleaxe scores a critical hit. However, there’s just one teeny tiny problem. Unless I missed it somewhere, while you can mix and match dice in any combinations, you can’t configure modifiers. Likely this is fine if your IRL persona best suits playing a high-faluting wizard with synapses fizzing away under your hat, but if you can’t add up, you’re seriously stymied.

The mage grins — and pulls out his utility belt. “Best part about being in indispensable mage is how I come ready prepared with smart magicks and solutions for every eventuality.” He downs a cocktail of potions (mostly strength and constitution boosts), throws on some rings and a cape, and pulls on a pair of luminous rubber gloves. “They’re not magic,” he says. “I just like them.” The inkeeper rolls his eyes and hands over the first pint of his strongest brew. “Do we even need to bother making the roll?” he says, his expression careworn as an old boot …

Seriously Critical DnD Dice Roller Apps — #4 of 6

RPG Simple Dice

“The Neo-Otyugh explodes in a fireshow of frazzled internal organs as your ultra-humane and soulful healer roadtests her very first Flame Strike. But the foul creature’s lower intestine survives the onslaught and splits asunder while whistling through the air like a catapulted snake, depositing sloppy chunks of acidic poo upon the heads of one and all.”

So let’s see how this works out for a party of five heroic adventurers — and their plucky dungeon mule. There’s no saving throw for this one — living proof that sometimes, shit just happens.

rpg-simple-dice-android-app-review-for-5E-dnd-players

Beard Gunge Index Rating

DM's Notes say Roll 2d6

RPG Simple Dice makes rolling anything a doozy — but don’t expect sophisticated cinematics. Maybe it’s the name that gives it away, but RPG SIMPLE Dice has a pared-back interface that’s so spartan you’ll see only static black & white dice images — and zero snazzy backgrounds. This makes it perfect for dishing out the quickfire dicing action for any situation. Simply key in dice numbers and accompanying modifiers, and click on the respective polyhedral. Ideal for DMs with oodles of different rolls to make at speed. It’s not fancy, but it’s effective — a benefit regularly attributed to MMO Dwarf’s trademark fighting style and general capacity for dishing the wholesale slaughter.

Rolling 2d6 is easy — as are any of the dice combinations in my seven scenarios — which means hairdos ruined by poo for four of the five heroic adventurers bar the gnome illusionist (who dies) and a lucky escape for the mule (until it foolishly licks the poo off the dead illusionist’s head because it likes the taste … and subsequently takes another 2d6 damage … and dies).

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Seriously Critical DnD Dice Roller Apps — #5 of 6

Quick Dice Roller

“The Medusa raises an eyebrow. ‘Weird,’ she says. ‘That normally fixes things.’ As she battles to squint her superpowers into life, the party assembles its shiniest shields, having heard all about the medusa story this particular medusa clearly missed out on. But the largest and shiniest shield in the party — the one handed down to your paladin by angels — catches the incandescent glow of your elven bard’s chocolate-scented bangs, setting off a chain reaction of flowery sparks and flashes that instantly blinds everyone — including the medusa. That’s when a colossal underworld behemoth bursts from the flagstones and makes with the destructive mandible chomping action. It’s instant damage — no saves, no rolls to hit. That’ll teach you for bringing along a stupid elf …”

So let’s see how this plays out for the party — despite the overwhelming odds in favour of total annihilation. But, hey — that’s the deal with rpg gaming! As long as you’re in with the slimmest of chances, it’s always worth having the courage to make the roll. That’s what makes gamers such dyed-in-the-wool optimists. The FREQUENTLY STUPID part is merely a bonus.

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Beard Gunge Index Rating

DM’s Notes say Roll 5d10+5, plus an additional PERMANENT LOSS of 1d8+1 hit points for the elf thing.

Quick Dice Roller takes the simplicity of RPG Simple Dice and factors in another level of minimalist practicality. It’s not 3D, there’s no scintillating realism based on uncomfortably difficult calculus — but it functions with style, ease of use, and an attractively basic interface. You can assign presets, give them funky names and descriptions, and make fast rolls with an essential element of flair. Easy to pick up, harder to put down — like dating a doppelganger masquerading as an ultracharismatic hunk or bimbo.

Like all the DnD dice roller apps in this review, all the results you get from the dice are based on the sweet science of mathematics rather than polyhedrals so weighted they could pass for warg testicles concealing gold nuggets. And, of course, this scenario is a total bloodbath. Everyone in the party takes a colossal 55 hit points of damage, thereby assuming  that most perilous of character statuses, the dishearteningly mortal Irretrievably Destroyed Beyond All Hope. So there’s no need to make that second roll — unless you’re delusional. And, of course, anyone who chooses to adventure alongside a high risk useless elf isn’t in any way delusional at all

Seriously Critical DnD Dice Roller Apps — #6 of 6

Dice Roller

“Could these be the final moments of precious life for the bravest among you — the truly heroic Sir Rumpilicious de Buttkick? After receiving a vicious wound from The Unknown Reptilian Horror That Made Everyone Skweeeeeeeem Their Tits Off, his armoured body lies prone and silent on the flagstones like an industrial vacuum cleaner with too many novelty attachments. But … is he breathing? Is he alive? Time to see if your drunken cleric has sobered up yet. She’s still wandering round in circles, same as she was before the Unknown Reptilian Horror slithered from its pit, and all she needs to do is cast ONE SIMPLE BLOODY SPELL. Oh, but she’s seriously twatted on designer gin, and saving Sir Rumpilicious will take a miracle …”

So let’s see what transpires here in this all-too-familiar gaming scenario! Let’s see how some simple dice rolls determine the fate of *sob* a character who’s been with your party for aeons!

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Beard Gunge Index Rating

DM’s Notes say ... Roll Something Complex. We’ve Got To Give That Much-Loved Hero a Fighting Chance!

Dice Roller is far and away the most visually appealing dice roller app in MMO Dwarf’s partially comprehensive test. Here’s all the look and feel of quality polyhedrals, complete with full-on physics effects — and sound. The Geek Levels are off the scale, mostly because there are so many dice formats and styles to choose from, you need extra time away from humanity to hole up in your secret bunker and check ‘em all out. But there’s a catch. While this app is great for cinematic presets based on fiendish, in-depth tinkering, it’s not so good for handling a variety of modified rolls in quick succession. The interface is intuitive, but complex rolls one after another still don’t feel quick and easy. This is reflected in the options screen which is not exactly made for those of us with stubby fingers weaned for action on swinging huge lumps of metal around. But if you’re a hardcore geek who fixes every eventuality in advance, this could be the one for you. You run Linux, you began life as a “child prodigy”, you spook the shit out of most dogs …

Returning to the drunken cleric (who’s somehow managed to polish off another small bottle of expensive gin while Sir Rump’s eyeballs flicker in response to impending avatars no one else can see, all that’s needed to solve this adventuring conundrum is three consecutive percentage rolls — no problem for this app.

First, roll 1% or under to have the drunken cleric understand what you want her to do.

Second, if Sir Rumpilicious survives these terrible odds, a roll of 5% or under means the cleric still has sufficient powers of consciousness to cast a spell without slurring all the magic words.

Finally, a roll of 99% or less means the spell is a success — only instead of being an appropriate healing spell it’s a totally random offering from her repertoire.

Yeah, how we loved that guy …

Seriously Critical DnD Dice Roller Apps — #7 of 6

Dice RPG

That’s right! Scenario 7 of 6!

Here’s living proof that if you read to the end of stuff instead of hopping around at random like an ADD ditz, sometimes you get rewarded with a bonus!

That said, this app is not especially brilliant, but it does have a cool feature that most other apps in this review lack. So, read on, O Lucky One …

“Your excursion to the Tomb of Many Skellingtons was an unparalleled success. You have gold, you have jewellery, you have magic items. And let’s not forget that huge diamond. Time now for your plucky thief to appraise its value and sell it for ten times the going rate to dyed-in-the-wool evildoers you’ll probably end up fighting later on in the campaign …”

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Beard Gunge Index Rating

DM’s Notes say ... Roll d100 + 250,000

Dice RPG let’s you make simple rolls and offers some colour and flavour to your gaming interface. But it has no scope for presets, doesn’t handle modifiers, and has practically no customisation options for the visuals. In this sense, it’s way more basic than RPG Simple Dice, and only makes it into my review because of it’s exciting background option. Call me a dungeon aficionado, but there’s something eternally alluring about dark, underground environments boasting roughly hewn stone walls and flickering torches. So here’s where your 3D polyhedrals get to tumble into a torchlit chamber. It’s a neat idea that might inspire future DnD dice roller apps to be more creative in their use of dice rolling scenarios. Where poker dice apps make with the green beize backgrounds, many of the apps in my review feature custom surfaces. But where are the dice flying from the mouths of dragons? The massed d6s descending onto the heads of hapless gnomes? Dice rolls made by flipping from the blade of a trusty axe? App devs take note!

DnD Dice Roller Apps Summary

MMO Dwarf’s Geometrically Faceted Conclusion

If I’m honest, nailing the perfect DnD Dice Roller App is as difficult as nailing the perfect battleaxe because purpose dictates form.

When I’m mangling orc hordes by the thousand, a keen edge allied to a generous shaft makes for decent numbers, while giant felling demands heavier metal hardcore on the swing end. For skeletal nobodies, a blunter axe cuts the mustard, and for the deepest tombs, nothing beats a simple bag of gold for the healer with the spectre-exterminating holy water and Puppet of The Lord aura.

So ye may take your pick of the dice roller apps thusly.

I’m certain there is a Myers-Briggs-style personality wheel relevant to choosing the dice app that’s perfect for you — some definitively researched Venn diagram affair that balances looks, functionality, features and fun in ways that ideally suit your particular geek requirements — but to hell with all that nonsense!

My simple Beard Gunge Index holds stout and true, and I’ve endeavoured to look in on what works best for busy DMs or idle players.

But if you want me to stick my neck out and pick a winner (which, inevitably, you do unless you’re a lame ass), I’d have to run with RPG Simple Dice.

Like MMO Dwarf himself, when he’s unleashed upon underworld villains in a frenzy of Dwarven bravado and flashing steel, RPG Simple Dice gets the job done, no messing.

It’s a quick & easy solution that keeps the focus of your imagination on the immediate slaying dilemmas to hand, with no distractions.

The last thing you need gathered round your gaming tabletop — IRL or virtual — is players more inspired to holler Woooo that looks like a reeeeeeal d20! than Take that, you foul fiend spawned from the deepest pit!

Keep it real, fantasy buffs …

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Lifehack Suggestion You Won’t Want To Miss!

If you’ve enjoyed discovering the unpalatable truth about MMO players who suck, you may be interested in other articles MMO Dwarf has written with a view to bringing his trusty battleaxe to bear on matters of great import such that MAXIMUM BLOODSHED aboundeth.

Here’s some further reading …

6 Killer Reasons Why MMO Players Suck Big Time

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The Only NeverWinter Online Review You’ll Ever Need.

"Sharing is Caring. Not Sharing is Instant Death."

If you’ve enjoyed this informative Gaming post, please feel free to spread it around like minced dragon’s innards on crisp, health-promoting wholemeal bread.

Tell your friends. Warn your family. Distract your enemies so you can surprise them at dead of night with an array of ferocious weapons guaranteed to mangle them to a pulp as they cry

NOOOOOO! AUUUUUUUGGGH! WAUUUUGGGHHHH!

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6 Seriously Critical DnD Dice Roller Apps REVIEWED
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6 Seriously Critical DnD Dice Roller Apps REVIEWED
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Why roll all your crits on polyhedral dice cast from the DISTILLED ETHER of SNOOTY WRAITHS when you can download a DnD Dice Roller App? What in hell is WRONG with you?
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MMO Dwarf
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